nebulancer | Kuroi Birthday + Purple Party SS

●A Dark Person

[The One Known as Kuroi]●

Sometimes, I get scared.

Of becoming invested in, and making my occupation something based off sounds and words, things that don’t have a physical form.

It isn’t worth something universally, nor does it have an absolute standard that is treated as the norm.

“Preferences.” “Sensations.” “Atmosphere.”

...People pick out its worth based off things that change countless times during these occasional circumstances. They receive equal compensation. And gobble it up.

Clunk.

I put the coin in. Standing in front of the vending machine which produces a drink, I think as I grip the can.

Easy-to-understand worth.

Easy-to-understand compensation.

There was more technique, nutrition, and business effort packed into this container, far beyond the weight that I could feel in my palm.

Society is likely existing thanks to people who create such amazing things as this.

Then what does that make me?

I, who have neither education nor technique, can’t go without spitting out clusters of sounds that lack a proper foundation.

They’re shapeless things that are created from nothing.

Exactly how much worth does this single phrase I’ve wrenched out from the chaos in my mind have?

How much meaning is maintained within the words placed upon said phrase?

Who, and where, will listen to the sound I’ve produced by vibrating my vocal cords?

It still felt somewhat unrealistic to me that those things, like this can in my hand, could have a price tag of perhaps several hundred, several thousands of yen tacked onto them.

As I continue thinking, my common sense begins to whisper.

The warning sirens blare.

Telling me, I have to return to my senses.

Is it really, truly worth anything?

How long will this situation continue?

If I’m unable to continue doing this, how would I keep on living?

I get scared.

I’m so, so scared, I can’t help it.

I’ve always been bad with the moment when this chilly winter breeze gently blows into my head, and I’m about to snap back to common sense.

It’s always been like this.

There are times when no large problems happen, and I’m going about my business free from accident. That’s exactly when my bad habit of spiraling into negative thoughts rears its ugly head.

I grip the can in my head once more, tug on the tab, and drink a sip.

It felt as if the bitterness of the black coffee seeped into my stomach.

I bet I’ll lose if I ever regain my common sense.

The pride, the self-importance, and self-affirmation of being a creator.

Unfortunately, ever since I was born, I’ve had little connection to that side—all of those concepts, for that matter.

It’s just that I have strong preferences. I’m not very adaptable. There’s nothing else I can do.

All I’m doing is sloppily connecting, weaving the sounds and words plucked out from the chaos in my head, then spitting them out.

But that “all I’m doing” is for the sake of those who believe it’s worth something.

I think until I get tired, I question myself over and over if it’s good enough, I battle my demons that whisper that I have no talent, and I face the staff notation while tearing at my head.

It’s like walking all alone through the dark, dark streets at night.

It’s an endless, lonesome occupation.

Even if I were to overcome my hurdles with hard work and good effort, I still hate, and I’m still shameful of my creations whenever I put something new out into the world.

I wonder if anyone would get upset at me if I confessed that I’m still struggling about feeling that way.

......But still.

Even so.

Occasionally, a single phrase will casually pop into my head, and if feels as if light has shone into that pitch-black darkness.

Isn’t this...... actually sort of incredible?

I think... it’s pretty good.

I must be... some sort of genius.

The overwhelming sense of accomplishment I feel in those moments makes that time feel like I’ve become invincible. It’s like I’ve become a god of a new world.

Of course, once the night dawns, or rather, several moments pass, I return to my senses.

I’ll never talk about those moments to anyone, nor have I ever done so in the first place.

That single ray of light is the same as my companions who’ve picked me out for who I am. I think that’s why I’m still here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me.

I’m glad I managed to put this phrase out into the world.

I just want a few more moments of being able to think that way.

If possible, I’d like to keep it going for as long as it can.

May it continue on and on.

# Hashiba Kuroi Birthday 2023

# A Dark Person

# A Creator’s Daybreak

//

🐣Today is Hashiba Kuroi’s (CV: Sumiya Tetsuei) Birthday🐣

<The door opens.

Shiou: Ooh, you’re back.

What’s that? Canned coffee? What, you bought that even though there’s a drip machine in the studio? (laughs) I could’ve poured one for you as a birthday special.

C’mon, Genius? Let’s keep recording...

Kuroi: ...

Shiou: ...

Hug.

Kuroi: You’re the daybreak.

# Hashiba Kuroi Birthday 2023

# Congratulations

🐣Today is Kuroi’s Birthday - Extra🐣

Roa: Ah, Kuro! You’re here, you’re here~! HAPPY B-DAY!!

Rei: Congratulations, Kuroi. I hope your year ahead is a fulfilling one.

Kuroi: Thank you.

Roa: Tonight, we’ll have a birthday hot pot party together~🍲

Rei: Shiou?

Shiou: YOU’RE A CAT!!!!! THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A CAT!!!!

Kuroi: What.

# Hashiba Kuroi Birthday 2023

//

🐾Special Purple Party💜

~In the vending machine corner of the studio~

Shiki: ...

tap.

Hajime: Shiki-san.

Shiki: Hajime? What a coincidence.

Hajime: It indeed is. I’m glad to have run into you. Good work today.

Shiki: Huh, wow. You’ve said something cute just now.

Hajime: Fufu. What will you be drinking? I’ll treat you today as thanks for everything.

Shiki: I’m lucky, aren’t I? Then since we’re here anyway, maybe I should get the most expensive one... (170 yen)

Hajime: Go ahead and choose anything. (laughs)

Kuroi: !

Kuroi: You’re TSUKIPRO’s... Good work today, Takamura-san.

Shiki: Hashiba Kuroi-kun from SunPro, aren’t you? Good work and perfect timing. Hajime’s going to treat us.

Kuroi: No—Er, I—

Hajime: I’ll treat you, Kuroi. Today’s your birthday, isn’t it? Happy birthday.

Kuroi: ......I’m... surprised you remember. Thank you.

Shiki: ? You two have met before?

Hajime: I’ve worked alongside pioniX before. If we’re talking about birth years, then I’m a year younger...

Kuroi: But we’re in the same educational year.

Shiki: I... can see that. I see, it’s your birthday? Happy birthday, Hashiba.

Kuroi: ...... If it’s okay with you, please call me Kuroi. I’ve heard a lot about you from Rei and Roa.

Shiki: ...I suspect that they’re babbling less-than-stellar things about me. Happy birthday, Kuroi.

Kuroi: Thank you very much for the birthday wishes.

Kakeru: Hajime-SAAAAAAA—... Whoa, cats are clumped up in a single spot!!?!? Is this where cats gather up!!!?

Everyone: Who are you calling a cat?

===

Kakeru: Warm canned drinks during the winter are absolutely sublime. ←Got him to treat him too

Shiki: Felt.

Arata: I feel some fun vibes coming from this direction over here~🐾

Kakeru: Ah! Another cat character’s arrived.

Hajime: Want to drink something? I’ll treat you.

Arata: Ooh, for realsies? Yippee~💕 Kakerun, Shiki-san, what’cha drinki...... Y’all have bean soup with mochi? (laughing)

Shiki: It’s tasty. Isn’t that right, Kuroi?

Kuroi: ... (nodding)

Shiou: Heeey~, Kuro...... IIIIIII!?!?

Shiki: Welcome to the cats’ mochi bean soup party-meow~🐾

Arata: I love the way you hop onboard the bits, Shiki-san.

Hajime: Ahaha.

# Happy birthday, Kuroi-san 💜

# Catlike People Gathering Up

//

(Kakeru ㅎ▽ㅎ)ノShiwassup!!! The year-end rush is tons of fun~🌟

Kakeru: Hajime-san, you sure do like Shiki-san.

Arata: I know, right~?

Hajime: ...This story feels rather nostalgic, but...

When Gravi’s debut was decided, there was a good deal of resistance toward new things. At the time, I was much more inexperienced than I am now. The strong words directed at me from people whose names I didn’t know, and had never talked to, disconcerted me to no end.

When that happened, Shiki-san...

Shiki: “Compared to the insults I got when I was Public Enemy No.1 for some time, those words are child’s play. And by the way, if you think, ‘Technically, what you’re trying to say here, is that you love me,’ about any words directed at you, then it’ll feel better.”

...said that. (wry laugh)

Kakeru: Impenetrable mental strength!!!

Arata: NTSFY (Now that’s Shiki-san for you.)

Hajime: I felt frustrated that I couldn’t do anything despite being the leader. He taught me that there are times that it’s okay for me to not do anything. To keep a steadfast, cool head during rough times.

I admire him as I would an older brother.

Kakeru: I see.

Arata: That’s a nice story. Hmm~. But, but~ I think I might be frustrated at my past self because I couldn’t help you out when you had these pent-up feelings.

Kakeru: Same here!

Hajime: ...Don’t think that way. That’s not the case.

Kakeru, Arata, you’re both stalwart supports for me. Koi, Aoi, and Haru too, of course. I’m the one who should have relied on those around me and talked about what was in my heart more.

Even now, I’m still lacking in all sorts of ways, but... if I think of it as my room for growth, then that’s fine. I’ve started thinking that way.

Isn’t that right?

Kakeru & Arata: Yes!!!

# A nostalgic story

# The “this and that” which only leaders use as a foundation for their growth

//

The music-lover Dai-chan analyzes the composer types.

Shiki: Listen to my music! The type to ride upon the waves of his prismatically rainbow-colored arrogance

Shu: Heavenly prayers and wishes, earthly struggles and delights. The worker type who uses his melting pot of emotions

Sora: Unleash my feelings and the moment into the skies! Artist type who puts things into impromptu choruses

Mamoru: O blessings of eternity and dreams. A shaman type who connects to the galaxies, beyond space-time

Kuroi: A delicate, passionate and emotional composer. A gloomy realist type who succumbs to loneliness easily

Dai: It’s nothing more than personal opinion.

Shiki: Why is mine the only one that sounds particularly vulgar?

Dai: ...But despite it all, I like your... Takamura Shiki’s music the best, don’t I?

Shiki: ......It’s rare of me to get this embarrassed. (Statement made about himself)

# Please do listen to all sorts of their songs 🎤

★After the party★

Kuroi: It’s been a long time since I got flowers as a gift.

Shiou: They’re pretty, right? The way they’re a little lowkey reminds m of you~... Plus, they’re purple.

Kuroi: I don’t have a vase or anything.

Shiou: Mm...

Kuroi: Do we have something at our places to replace this can?

Shiou: ...

Kuroi: Shiou?

Shiou: zzz

Kuroi: ...Sweet dreams.

# It seems he drank a little too much at the hot pot party

# Let’s make do with this for now

Kuroi Birthday + Purple Party SS - 12/19/23