September 20, 2014 - Tsukiuta SS

[nebulancer]

September 20, 2014

☆GRAND SYMPOSIUM ~What is "Moe"?~☆

 

[Moe (萌え) is a term often used by fans to describe their strong infatuation towards something or someone. The original term means "budding, sprouting" but it is also a homophone for the word "burn." As such, it's a word used for love, attraction, but not necessarily romantic.]

 

Koi: The TL's all about talk shows and stuff! Way fun! I wish I could've gone.

Kakeru: You like games, don't you?

Koi: All I've been doing recently is just phone games I can do during breaks. Game show booths have a lot of phone games now, too.

Arata: We've got one too [Tsukino Park], so I guess that's just what the times are 'bout.

Koi: Also, there's a bunch of stuff targeted at women.

 

Arata: Those otome-stuff games, right? My sister plays those sometimes, too.

Kakeru: Ah, those games where a bunch of handsome guys are the characters!

Arata: I don't really get what the games are about, but once my sister made me go preorder for her. Those were so many special bonuses that it was thick. Like, three c's ☆ A chonker ☆ At the register.

Koi: A chonker... (laughing) There's stuff like first-time bonuses, the preorder bonuses, shop bonuses, and even super-special versions.

 

Arata: Plus, there were even bonuses for different characters. I didn't know which character my sister liked, and she wouldn't even pick up my calls... I seriously thought I'd cry for the first time in ages.

Koi: Don't cry about that. (laughing)

Kakeru: So what ended up happening?

Arata: The employees were some really nice older guys. The two of them... or rather, the three of us, me included, were like, "If memory serves me right, his hair's short and black..." "So, this one?" and stuff.

 

Arata: And they were right.

Koi: Ooh~

Kakeru: Ooh~

Arata: Apparently, that day was the last day for the early stage preorder or whatever, so Nee-chan got super grateful, prayed to me, and treated me to a meal.

Koi: That's sorta cute of your sister. (laughs)

Kakeru: I've heard that those otome genre things got a wall-slam booth this year.

Koi & Arata: Oh my god. The wall slam...

 

Kakeru: And the participants were all guys, so it ended up being hilarious.

Arata: Ah, true. If I were there, I would've given it a shot for the laughs.

Koi: You would've? (laughing) But does that really make girls happy?

Arata: Huh, I dunno? I don't get what makes girls... click with what they love.

Kakeru: Well, we're who we are because we're 12 handsome guys, but no one says that we're from an otome series!

 

Arata: ...Okay, let's give things a shot! We'll try out this wall-slaaam.

Kakeru: Okay, let's give the wall suh-LAAAM! a shot!

Koi: Aren't you calling it something different already?

 

☆Tsukiuta. with the WALL-SLAAAM☆

Kakeru: So here we are at the photoshoot studio! A wonderful wall's been prepared for us!

Arata: It's a wonderful wall!

Kakeru: These bricks do their best to bring out the atmosphere of it all!

Arata: For us idols, it's a matter of life-and-death to understand what girls consider a "moe" point! We'll relentlessly attack the busy people, too!

# They just started having fun

 

Arata: Still, if we did that on a real girl, that'd be considered sexual harrassment. What should we do for the receiving end...?

Koi: Hmm. Who can understand a woman's heart, and has the sensibilities of a regular, normal person...... Ah.

Arata: Ah.

Kakeru: Ah.

 

Aoi: ? Umm. I just have to stand in front of the wall?

Arata: Yeah, definitely. That's all OK, okay.

 

# A readily available victim

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Kakeru arc~☆

Aoi: ??

Kakeru: First up! Shiwasu Kakeru is heading out~!

Koi: You got this, Kakerun! Show 'em how us juniors can do when we get serious!

 

Kakeru: Aoi-san!

Aoi: Eh? Ah, sure!

 

WALL-SLAAAM!

 

Aoi: ...

Kakeru: ...

Aoi: ...Um, good boy? (Aoi pats Kakeru on the head.)

 

Kakeru: He doted on me!

# The aim was off

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Koi arc~☆

Koi: Second up, Kisaragi Koi! I'm going!

Arata: All right, go and (die) do it, Koi!

Koi: Hey! I saw that! I saw that stuff in the parenthesis!

 

Koi: Aoi-san!

 

WALL-SLA......

 

Koi: ...W-w-w-w-w-w-we sure are close together, aren't we!?

Aoi: Well, yes, we are? (sparkling)

Koi: I can't I can't I can't do thisssss~!

 

Kakeru & Arata: I knew it.

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Arata arc~☆

Arata: HA. Ha. HAH. It's finally my turn! Now, I will unleash the stock of otome genre things that my sister let me take a glimpse at! Third one up! Uduki Arata is heading out!

 

Arata: Aoi...

 

WALL-SLAAAM!

 

Aoi: Arata, what are you even doing?

Arata: Ahh... a wall-slam?

Aoi: ...Pfft. It doesn't suit you.

Arata: Ehh? For real?

Koi: It's an everyday conversation!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Aoi arc~☆

Kakeru: Since we have the aim in mind now, Aoi-san, do the WALL-SLAAAM too.

Aoi: E-Ehh!?

Arata: I really wanna see it. I wanna see the prince's wall-slam. I also predict you're gonna react in a funny way, so Koi, you be the partner.

Koi: MEEE!?

 

Aoi: K-Koi...

 

wall slam.

 

Koi: Aoi-san, why are you turning red~!? It makes me embarrassed too!

Aoi: For sure!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Haru arc~☆

Kakeru: And here are the long-awaited... appearances of the seniors!

Arata: They've finally arrived...

Koi: He's been wall-slamming for more than ten years! It wouldn't be strange if the wall had a hole opened up in it at this point! If you need the King of Wall-Slams, we bring you this man! HARU ☆ YAYOI~!

Aoi: Eh? Eh? I'm still on the receiving end? (sweatdrop)

Haru: I heard this was for work...

 

Haru: But even though you tell me to do a wall-slam... The partner won't be excited since they know that I'm going to do it to them, right? (wry laugh)

Arata: Oh, man! The King of Wall-Slams obviously understands how things are!

Koi: He truly does, he just does! Wall-slams happen all of a sudden, out of nowhere!

Kakeru: As expected of Haru-san! Or rather, the King of Wall-Slams!

Haru: ...So I've finally become a king, have I... (gazing off into the distance)

 

Haru: Well, er... I guess I'll do it, but it's not like I can make something big happen, okay~? (wry laugh)

Aoi: Eh. Ah. Ha-- You're going to do it!?

 

Haru: ...Aoi-kun?

 

Wall-slam.

 

Aoi: Y-yes! (blushing)

Arata: He's seducing him.

Koi: He's seducing him.

Kakeru: He sure is seducing him.

Haru:

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Hajime arc~☆

Aoi: Let's stop this! We absolutely have to stop this! Hajime-san's busy enough without having to do this!

Arata: Aoi's turned desperate. (laughs)

Aoi: Of course I would... (sweatdrop) Arata, imagine if you were in my position?

Arata: Ah, I couldn't handle that. I'd die. Straight-up die. Koi, you go (die) instead.

Koi: Ah, I couldn't handle that. I'd, like, die in a single instant. Kakerun, I think you'd be able to?

Kakeru: Be able to turn into a star in the night sky? Yeah, for sure.

 

Haru: Let's see... I get the impression that the image of a wall-slam would fit the king all too well... or rather, I can imagine it myself... But there's always the possibility that he actually doesn't know what it means, and the wall itself will get sent flying because he slammed it... So I think it'd be best if we tread carefully.

Arata: For sure~. Plus, this stuff dragged on for longer than we expected.

Koi: All right!  We'll end things here for the time being!

 

WALL-SLAAAM Tournament Temporarily placed on hold

 

Arata: (laughing) The "King of Wall-Slams" is in the trends...

Koi: (laughing) I'm taking a screenshot to celebrate.

Kakeru: You did it, Haru-san!

Haru: Oh my god. I'm getting misunderstood with every passing day. Well, I guess it's fine, since people are having fun with it. (wry laugh)

 

Thank you for accompanying us!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Comes to an end~☆

Kurisu: You all got so excited over something so stupid...

Kakeru: Guys will always admire the idea of making girls' hearts skip a beat, I guess.

Koi: Maybe it's an unreachable dream.

Arata: So how 'bout your opinion on the wall-slam?

Kurisu: I guess it only works with handsome men? Otherwise, they're just creeps.

Koi: Stratified society hits hard!

 

Ai: Wall-slam?

Yuki: Wall-slam?

Koi: Ah, you don't have to know about it. You can look the other way, it's something you don't need to know. ...Thank god. If something, anything belonging to a heavy user of an otome game...  led Ai astray... whether it's their angle, words, posture... ANYTHING led her astray, I'd fall into a coma for a week. Ah, it's not about the otome games or anything. It's about my dignity as her brother.

Arata: ......Did you even have any dignity in the first place?

Koi:

 

Wall-thud.

 

Yuno: ...Mizuki.

Mizuki: ...Yuno.

 

Yuno: ......Umm...

Mizuki: ......Is this enough?

Chisa: WHOOOOOOO!

Reina: WHOOOOOOO!

Chisa & Reina: Great! Perfect! My eyes are being replenished! WHOOOOOO!

 

Akane: ...Oh no... Chisa-chan and Reina-chan sound like old men...

Wakaba: They are, internally~ (laughs)

Matsuri: ...I'm hungry.

 

☆GRAND SYMPOSIUM ~What is "Moe"? Part 2~☆

Koi: ...So with that said, halfway through we turned it into the Wall-slam tournament, but!

Kakeru: Yes, we did! But! What even is "moe"? That's where we should start!

Arata: And we're in the second half, with Hajime-san as our special guest, since he just came back home~

Everyone: Yay~

Hajime: ...Do you all have free time or what?

 

Koi: Well, then! Alongside our charismatic representative... or, should I say, our King, the bundle of moe who has surpassed the borders of man and woman, tonight we will discuss what truly makes moe.

 

Hajime: ...What? ......Mo...e...?

 

Arata: YEAHHH! IT'S THAT! THE NECK TILT! My sister would die from her hearts skipping way too many beats every time Hajime-san just tilts his head!

Kakeru: A concrete example!

 

Kakeru: So basically, if Hajime-san did it, people would squeal, "Gyaahh~" while blushing, but if Koi did it, the partner would just go, "Pardon?"

Koi: Pardon?

 

Koi: B-but! You know what I think? It's not good to go overboard for every little thing. Overdosing is dangerous for one's life. If someone's heart is skipping a beat every! Single! Day! Then their hearts won't be able to hold on!

Arata: Uh huh?

Koi: As a result! Although Hajime-san is just so cool and so capable, I would like to recommend myself as a marriage partner instead of him.

Hajime: (...Why did the topic suddenly transition to marriage?)

 

Koi: Like, if Hajime-san wall-slammed someone and proposed to them, they'd okay it without a single thought. Right? I can't let that happen.

Hajime: ...A moment, if you will. I feel as if you're exaggerating some aspects of me a bit too strongly... Even though it's just for a joke... I'd like to say that I'm normal.

Koi: AND NOW!? YOU'RE GOING TO HIT US WITH THAT UNINTENTIONAL MOE POINT, IS THAT IT!?

Arata: Dude, calm down. (laughing)

 

Koi: When it comes to marriage situations, right? Listen, it's like this! You wake up in the morning, right!? And then Hajime-san, who's usually all strict and on top of things, is a little sleepy in the mornings, right!? But you just know he properly makes sure to greet you in the mornings, right!? So it's like--

 

Hajime: "...Good morning..."

 

Koi: SEE! WE ALL DIED! ALL ME'S DIED~! I DIED OF MOE!!

Kakeru: Koi broke. (laughing)

 

Koi: So! Basically! Hajime-san's entire existence is like a final boss. He doesn't even need to carry around any more Excaliburs, also known as moe points, with him!

Hajime: Final boss? Ex... what? I-I understand...?

Arata: Koi forced his opponent into submission... (laughing)

Koi: So with that all said and done, I bring you to my conclusion! The ideal marriage partner......... is ME! (Ta-daaah~)

Everyone: (......Whose?)

 

Arata: Still, even though you're a final boss, we'd like you to perform a wall-slam... so for the receiving end, we've prepared the secret final boss! The decisive, concluding weapon specifically prepared to go up against Hajime-san!

Hajime: ...What?

Kakeru: All right, please head on over here! Be on standby in front of this wonderful wall.

Hajime: What?

 

Shun: AW YEAH BUDDY! COME AT ME!! HAJIME!!

 

# He's completely prepared

 

Shun: Fufufufu. Hajime, when this situation got started, I've always, always... Yes, I've waited what felt like an eternity... for you to, in front of this wall...... "wall-slam" me!

 

Hajime: ...What even is a wall-slam, Shun?

 

Shun: ...HAJIME!

 

Arata: Order up! We got a "pure strike of moe that hits directly in his chest" for Shun!

 

Koi: I feel like if... I end up getting through this battle, I'll be able to get a clue to making me seem more fitting for an otome genre...!

Kakeru: You really think so!? I get the feeling that people are gonna get super repulsed by the idea!?

Arata: Don't be afraid, Kakeru! We'll become handsome men who "wall-slam" as easily as we can breathe.

Kakeru: Isn't that just getting vertigo from standing up!?

 

Shun: (explaining)

Hajime: ...I see. But all I have to do is put my hand on the wall and say something, right?

Shun: The distance that closes in the blink of an eye. The sense of urgency knowing that there's nowhere to run. A tension-filled atmosphere. Many various types of causes work together to make all the ladies worldwide "Squee~♪" Isn't it cute?

Hajime: So, it's like the idea of the suspension bridge effect...

 

Koi: What a serious description!

Haru: So, how's the haps? Has the king completed his wall-slam?

Aoi: I'm glad I wasn't on the receiving end... (relieved)

Kakeru: Haru-san, Aoi-san!

Arata: No, you caught us right at the moment the Missionary of Love, Shun ☆ Shimotsuki is lecturing him on just what moe means.

Haru: There are a lot of titles being handed out today~ (wry laugh)

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Hajime arc~☆

Everyone: (I'm so excited...!)

Hajime: ...*sighs*... I guess I should just think of this as a photoshoot.

 

Hajime: ......

 

Wall-slam!

 

Hajime: ...Shun.

Shun: ......

 

Shun (faints)

0( : 3    )～ =͟͟͞͞(  ’ ､ 3 )_ヽ)＿

 

Koi: Shun-saaaaaaaaan!

Arata: ...He lived a good life. (voice-over)

 

Shun: Wow~! Just what I'd expect of you, Hajime! You don't approach me and say something! You strike with your forceful silence~ and~ then~! Just say a single word! Now that's Hajime for you! (happy)

Koi: Hajime-san, when you approach someone... Your bangs! They fall!

Arata: Hajime-san, you're great, just as we expected!

Aoi: *sigh*...

Kakeru: *sigh*...

Hajime: ......You guys were the ones who told me to do it.

Haru: Ahaha. Good work there.

 

Koi: ......Huh? Wait, it ended up as another Wall-Slam tournament.

Arata: It sure did.

Kakeru: But starting tomorrow, we'll be all set for the otome genre! For sure!

Aoi: True. Just as long as they don't know about this account...

Shun: That was fun~ ♪ Maybe we should do a Procella Wall-Slam Tournament too?

 

Haru: Let's have our king wrap things up, shall we?

Arata: Oh, hey! And here! A word in trending, almost fateful enough that we'd think it was waiting for this moment!! It's perfect for this situation!

Hajime: ......What?

Koi: Please, go ahead~!

 

Hajime: ...Mo... e... Moe...... Kyun...?

 

Thank you very much for accompanying us!

 

C= C= C=  。・゜゜ヽ| ；∀；| NWAHHHHHHH!

Just now, various work-related data got lost because of a forced reset, so we’ll be avoiding reality for the time being.

 

...Let’s head into things with as much energy as always~!

 

Shun: It’s time for the Procella Wall-Slaaam tournament~♪

 

Shun: So that’s that. Even though the game show’s over, we’re going to keep on doing the wall-slaaam. This is an idol’s destiny.

You: Y’know, I have zero clue what that “so that’s that” is supposed to signify. Ahh. Guess someone should keep the ball rolling and announce stuff.

Rui: Congrats on the new job, You.

Iku: Congrats on the job.

You: And these two tossed the job my way!

 

You: I don’t wanna. I don’t want to do it AT ALL. I don’t have any interest in wall-slamming dudes.

Kai: Can’t you just... do something about that?

You: It’s not an issue I can do something about by just wishing it into existence.

Iku: How about doing it without a partner?

You: I’d just be standin’ there putting my hand on the wall! What, wanna make me pretend I have vertigo!?

Shun: Sheesh! No “this,” no “that,” you’re so~ self-centered~

You: Ooh, I just got this sense of bloodlust...

 

Shun: Oh, very well, then... It seems I’ll have to exert a little extra effort for You-kun’s sake ☆ Ta-daaah!

Kai: All right, confiscated.

Shun: Aagh...!

Iku: I think I saw something resembling a wig, but I’m gonna say that was my mind playing tricks on me.

Rui: True. Let’s leave convincing You... up to Yoru.

Yoru: Eh— M-me!?

Rui: You got this!

Yoru:

 

~Currently mid-convincing~

ヾ(*´･ω･)ﾉﾞ  ( ´_ゝ`)

 ↓

ヾ(*´･ω･)ﾉﾞ  ( ´_ゝ`)

 ↓

ヾ(*´･ω･)ﾉﾞ  ( ´_ゝ`)

↓

ヾ(; >ω<)ﾉ  ( ;´_ゝ`)

 ↓

Yoru: He says... (wheezing) There’s no other choice, so he’ll handle it... (wheeze)

Everyone: Ooh~ (A certain victory)

 

You: Listen up, idiots. Doing this means we gotta show a moe that won’t lose to Gravi. ...I’m not gonna lose. No way in hell.

Iku: ...You just genuinely doesn’t like losing. (whispering)

Rui: (nod)

Yoru: I ended up persuading him on a whim, but wall-slams are... Those are... the ones where you... on the wall, with a girl...

Kai: The slammy thing.

 

Iku: Kai-san, that doesn’t provide an explanation for what it actually does. (laughs)

Rui: But now that you mention it, I don’t know it either. What are you supposed to say during a wall-slam?

You: Obviously, sweet talk in a whisper, or a confession. ‘Cuz if you actually cornered someone into a wall and started saying... oh, I dunno, the Heart Sutra, you’d get reported.

Kai: That’s true.

 

Yoru: A-ahaha... I think it’s a situation that I never would’ve done if I hadn’t chosen this line of work, but... I’ll do my best... using my imagination...

Rui: Me too.

Shun: I can do a corner-slam, though? Actually... I want to do it... to Hajime. (A pointlessly handsome smile)

Kai: I hope he shoots you down for that. (The second pointlessly handsome smile)

Iku: The image of that might just appear in my nightmares...

 

[Corner-slam (semi-don) is a pose where someone is cornered by someone else who is propping themselves up with their feet and hands. Look up 蝉ドン for information.]

 

Iku: By the way, what should we do about the partner? Do we do the vertigo-thing?

Shun: Ahh, that’s right. Gravi went with someone who can understand a woman's heart, and has the sensibilities of a regular, normal person... I believe Aoi did that role?

You: Oh, then that’s settled.

 

Kai: All right, Yoru. Be on standby, stand in front of this wonderful wall we borrowed from Gravi.

Yoru: ...Ehh... (resigned)

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Rui arc~☆

Rui: Entry no.1, Minaduki Rui is heading out.

Iku: Rui, you can do this!

 

Rui: Umm...... Yoru...!

 

wall-tap.

 

Yoru: ...

Rui: ...

Yoru: ...Want a hug?

Rui: Hug me~

Yoru & Rui: Ehehe.

 

How sweet~━━(∩´∀｀)∩´∀｀)∩´∀｀)∩´∀｀)━━!

# The aim was off

 

You: Hey, hey, you two!? Don’t go around acting like a parent and child, there! The aim of a wall slam is to make the partner’s heart skip a beat!

Iku: The announcer... or, uh, director’s harsh on his instructions. (laughs)

Kai: There, there. It made my heart skip a beat in a different way. See, it’s like... the feelings you get when you see the kitten photo bot update...

You: Dude, you’re actually following those? (laughing)

 

Shun: That was a sweet squee, so that just now... received 68 Albions!

You: For the record, I gotta ask. What’s that placement, commentator Shun ☆ Shimotsuki-san?

Shun: It’s the points of the white kingdom of Albion, which counts just how much moe something has!

Kai: Isn’t “albion” the name of the November fanclub...

Shun: Non, non! It’s not a club, but a kingdom!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Iku arc~☆

You: The rival appears...!

Kai: Man, you’re straight-up considering him a rival. (laughs)

 

Iku: Yoru-san.

Yoru: Y-yes!

 

Wall-slam.

 

Iku: I’m always grateful to you, Yoru-san. You’re always so serious and kind. I want to hurry up and get big so that I can help you out at any time.

Yoru: (*>ω<*) Gosh, you’re making me blush~

# Finally, a legitimate procedure

 

Yoru: Ikkun was... I dunno how do say it, but it was legit! Th-that was great!

You: Damn~ it~ all~. See, that’s the thing. Iku does it all manly-like and goes for the straightforward route~

Rui: Because Ikkun’s so cool!

Iku: Ahaha. I just expressed my thanks.

Kai: That was refreshing.

 

Shun:っﾟ∀ﾟ)っ85 Albiooo~~~n!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~You arc~☆

You: Prepare yourself!

Yoru: Yeah, come at me!

Kai: For some reason, it’s starting to feel like a club activity just by the vibes.

 

You: ...Hey, y’know?

 

Wall-slam.

 

You: ...I want you to always keep your eyes on me.

Yoru: Okay, sure. Since if I don’t, you’ll slack off.

You: ...

Yoru: ...

You: This is unfair! The childhood friend being here’s unfair!

 

You: Ugh, seriously~. I really think we should get a girl to come over here. Like, my perfect expression, perfect tone, perfect angle were all ruined! I really tried my hardest with that!

Yoru: S-sorry... (wry laugh)

 

Shun:っﾟ∀ﾟ)っ12 Albiooo~~~n!

 

You: Agh, dammit! Shun, you’re too harsh with the grading!

Kai: ......You’s concerned about the albions, huh.

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Kai arc~☆

Kai: I’m pretty sure you all know this, but as a whole, I’m bad with this sorta stuff. I do my best, though. (wry laugh)

Rui: ...He says that, but I get the feeling that Kai’s gonna go above and beyond expectations.

Iku: Huh?

 

Kai: Yo~ru?

Kai puts his hand under Yoru’s chin and nudges his face up.

 

Wall-SLAAAM.

 

Kai: You’re always doing your best. ...Don’t push yourself too hard, you hear?

Yoru: Ah! Y-yes, sure!

 

Everyone: IT’S THAAAT!! THE SENIORS’ UNIQUE SPECIAL MOVE!!

Kai: Huh!? That sorta thing exists?

Iku: Yes, it does! Apparently, it’s something that the older members, aside from Shun, can all use.

Rui: Aside from Shun...!

Yoru: Exactly. It’s so mature, and it’s something that everyone aside from Shun can use... Goodness, that surprised me...

You: Seriously, it’s just... When the seniors aside from Shun do it, it’s too strong. How can we hold a candle to those mature-seeming charms?

 

Shun: っﾟ∀ﾟ)っHey hey hold it I’m also capable of producing a mature charm befitting of the senior I am and the squee-worthy lines I say and the wall-slams and the corner-slams are all things I can try my hand at but in the end I can’t deny that Kai was amazing for that ☆ 120 Albio~~~n!

 

You: Too damn long.

 

Shun: Well... since we’ve now warmed ourselves up with the opening act...

You: This dude casually bears a grudge for that.

Shun: Let’s leave me, the grand finale, for last. Before that, Yoru has to do his own wall-slam on someone.

Iku: Ah, that’s right.

Rui: I wanna see Yoru’s wall-slam.

Yoru: Urk. Oh no... I couldn’t escape.

You: Dude, you were planning to run away? (laughing)

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Yoru arc~☆

Shun: Come here, Yoru? Show me your wall-slam...

Yoru: Eek! Why’s my partner Shun-san!?

Iku: We did it by pulling lots, but he got the worst result...

 

Yoru: Shun-sa...

 

Wall-sl... HUG~!

 

Yoru: UWAHHH!?

Shun: Ahaha! Yoru, you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed!

You: HEY! WALL! QUIT MOVING AROUND!!

 

Shun: Ahaha! I don’t need anyone to wall-slam me, for I am always ready and welcome for someone to leap into my arms ☆ I’m willing and welcome to have even You do it to me ♪

You: Dude, don’t slip in a natural-sounding pronunciation at just that spot...

Shun: 96 Albio~~~n ♪

You: Don’t screw with me! Why’d that get such a casually high score!?

Shun: If they come to me, they get many Albions of welcome!

 

☆WALL-SLAAAM ~Shun arc~☆

Kai: All righty. We welcome the entry of our special guest, the observer, Hajime-sama. He will help us in avoiding excessive property damage.

Hajime: ...Why am I...

Shun: Eh? Is it time for the corner-slam? Time for me to display my corner slam, my cicada pose?

Iku: Please stop that. You’re going to make Rui cry.

Rui: Cicada? Is he going to be imitating a 7-day-old cicada?

You: If so, he wouldn’t be moving.

 

Kai: Since we have an observer, we should just have Yoru keep being the partner. If we have the observer as the partner, something within us as an idol group will come to an end.

You: Why’s it feel like this explanation’s a little too late?

 

At the same time...

↓

Shun: Fufufu... I’ve been waiting for this moment... Hajime...

Hajime: Don’t sidle up to me.

 

Yoru: That’s true... Hahaha.

Rui: ...Hang in there!

 

Shun: Well, then! All Albion citizens! I’ve kept you waiting! I’m doing it~!

 

Shun: Yoru...

 

Wall-SLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAM... (Mysterious orchestral BGM)

 

Yoru: Y-yesh!?

Shun: Now then! Everyone, let us all cry out in joy! For now, the wall which divides us will be released! Now is the time...!

 

SLAMSLAMSLAMSLAMSLAM...

Hajime: Too loud.

 

Hajime whacks Shun.

↓

Shun chokes.

↓

Shun falls.

 

Shun lays on the floor lifelessly.

 

Rui: Ah, it’s a 7-day-old cicada.

Iku: What a precise attack to the vitals! A direct strike, performed without hesitation! As expected of Hajime-san!

You: Wow, we expected nothing less of you! Huh, is it just me, or does the air feel fresher around here?

Yoru: Thank you so much for your help~!!

Kai: Ahahahaha. Haah...

 

Kai: Is he dead?

Hajime: Er, no, I only meant to knock him down... But maybe my hand slipped, and I really did him in?

Shun: ...Zzz... Hajime’s presence...

Kai: Ah, he’s still alive.

Hajime: Don’t wrap around me!

 

You: Ahh. Let’s pack things up and come back to wrap it up later.

Iku: Seconded.

Rui: Yep.

Yoru: I-I’m exhausted...

You: Thanks for accompanying us so late into the night, y’all.

 

You: ......Anyway! This was hella forced, but this has been Procella’s Wall-SLAAAM tournament, now drawing to a close!

Everyone: Thanks for accompanying us~!

Shun: Sweet dreams ☆ Albion~♪

Kai: That was a fast recovery~ (wry laugh)