TSUKIPRO Setsubun SS 02/03/24 (1)

[nebulancer]

💖👹Today is Setsubun =BIG BEANS, LET'S GO!=👹💖

 

Yoru: With this... We’ll begin Setsubun!!

 

Everyone: Yeah!!!

 

Koi: It’s set up so that if these large Demon World-grown “Big Beans” hit you, a “member’s adorable secret that they want to keep hidden 2024” will be exposed.

 

Everyone: Yeah!!!

 

Koi: Well, I doubt we have secrets to keep among each other at this poi—

 

Kakeru: Beans. 三 beans Koi

 

Koi: I bought a black leather jacket before the year ended, since I thought maybe I’d be able to pull it off with how cool I’ve been recently. But actually, it looked so hellishly horrible on me that I sealed it away. Though I couldn’t give up and I thought, maybe now that the year’s passed? And I tried it on my bare skin yesterday after getting out of the bath, and tried posing with it, but in the end it didn’t look good on meAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHH!!!!!

 

Everyone: (...chills)

 

Aoi: I-It’s a totally common thing! Like, when you thought it looked good on you wearing it at the fitting room, but it doesn’t look good at all when you’re wearing it on your own time...! It’s fine, Koi!

Arata: Ehh~. But wouldn’t posing with it on your bare skin hurt, too?

Rui: Why did you consider putting it on your bare skin?

Koi: WHOOOWHHOAAAAHAOHUGUGHAAAAAOH—

 

Kakeru: What terrifying beans...

You: And who was the one that mercilessly tossed them at him?

 

Aoi: I’m sure we all have secrets we don’t want to tell everyone else, so can’t we just do some normal bean-scattering that doesn’t have to do with hitting others...?

 

Yoru: By the way, if you don’t let them hit anyone after they’ve been in your possession for a set amount of time, they’ll explode right in your hands and you’ll have to expose your own secret. Since, you know, it’s about time it happens...

 

Iku: Why is it set up in such a bloodthirsty way!!!?

Rui: Yoru’s completely like a Game Master of a death game.

 

You: A-aaaargh!! TAKE THAT, SHUN!!

Shun: Ahahaha! You really want to know my secret that badly? Goodness, You, you’re just so~ cute~♪

dodge.

Haru: Argh—Sorry, Hajime!!!

Arata: Hajime-san!!! I’m so sorry about this!!! The demon I have back home (my big sister) has commanded me to hit you at all costs!!!

Hajime: Why are you aiming for me—!

dodge.

 

Rui: The screams of the damned in hell.

Kai: True that. (laughing)

Rui: And while you’ve let down your guard.

 

Rui: Beans. 三 beans Kai

 

Kai: I’m using the hand cream from the sister brand “Crybaby Pearl Princess” to my well-cherished body soap brand “First Love Rose Princess.” But I’ve gotten interested in the hair wax from the sibling brand “Early Summer Rain Johnny,” so I’m starting to think I should just get married to the whole brand itself.

 

Kai: ...

Rui: ...

Kai: ...

Rui: ...I think it’s fine to proudly use all of them.

Kai: Thanks.

 

Kakeru: Beans! 三 beans Haru

 

Haru: It’s been my recent fixation to mimic Hokekyo-kun’s chirp, and I thought I’d been doing it well enough. I’d been chirping and chatting in my room for a while now, but when I giddily asked Hokekyo-kun, “It sure is fun chatting, huh~? 🎶” He silently shook his head.

 

Koi: Sorry, Hokekyo-kun~!

Haru: Aargh...!

 

Iku: Beans. 三 beans You

 

You: I got a present for some closing party and one of the things in it was a bright red bikini. I tried it on and went, “...Actually, not bad?” on the New Year.

 

Shun: Looks like you do have a preference!! I think that’s great!

Yoru: ...The Sunshine is heading to new frontiers that I can no longer reach...

You: GAAAAHHHH!!!

 

Koi: Beans! 三 beans Arata

 

Arata: I’ve been so excited to go into the bath with the DemonCapy-kun that I’ve been taking such long baths that when I got out, I had all the blood rush to my head and got dizzy. I stumbled and got a bruise.

 

Koi: (cracking up)

Hajime: ...I get how you feel, but do be careful.

Arata: Yesh.

 

You: Beans! 三 beans Yoru

 

Yoru: Recently, I’ve been only acting, so I did think that I wasn’t doing any basic running or muscle training. But when I went up and down the station stairs, I was out of breath, which shocked me to no end.

 

Yoru: I’ll get running starting tomorrow!!!!!

You: Yeah, you better!!!!

 

Haru: Beans! 三 beans Aoi

 

Aoi: When everyone in Gravi went out, I was house-sitting. I was so bored that I ended up putting large Tsukiusas on chairs and played a one-person Gravi make-believe with myself acting as six roles.

 

Koi: What’d you do, Aoi-san!

Yoru: Gravi make-believe!! I’m so interested!!!

Arata: Mimic Haru-san for us!!

Aoi: ......... “Haru-san here~?” UWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Haru: Don’t worry!!! It was more me than me!!!

 

Yoru: Beans! 三 beans Kakeru

 

Kakeru: A while back, I was in the break room with Icchi from QUELL, but when I went to leave the room, he said, “Get rid of it (the light) for me~” and on the spur of the moment, I answered “Who~?” So he got insanely shaken up.

 

Everyone: That’s terrifying.

Kakeru: You have the wrong idea!!! It just popped out of my mouth before I realized it!! I’m not scary!!!!

Everyone: That’s terrifying.

 

Arata: Beans! 三 beans Hajime

 

Hajime: Whenever I fall asleep in the living room, sometimes my consciousness resurfaces. I feel it’s a bit of a waste to fully wake up, so I keep acting like I’m asleep.

 

Everyone: We know that~

Hajime: ...... Keep pretending like you don’t notice.

Everyone: Okay~ (laughing)

 

\ WAAARGH!! /

 

\ GAAAAHHH! /

 

~Truce~

 

Everyone: Wheeze... wheeze...

Koi: Time out~! Time out!!!

 

Yoru: We have as many stories to tell as there are beans, huh...

You: Dammit, you’ve created something horrifying.

Haru: Setsubun takes a lot of stamina out of us every year...

 

💖👹Today is Setsubun =BIG BEANS, LET'S GO!=👹💖

 

Nao: All right then! Everyone! Our normal Setsubun’s ended, and now that Takaaki-san’s back...

Yuuma: It’s time for some BIG BEANS, LET’S GO!

Ruka: Hip, hip, (／・▽・)／ hooray~!!

 

Takaaki: Looks like some scaaary weapons (beans) have been brought in this time. (smirking)

Shou: Yet you look like you’re having fun.

Takaaki: Aah, yeah, I love events like this.

Shun (the Demon World) has a hand in these mysterious beans, so I’m confident that they could expose some incredible secrets~☆

Ouka: Which is why you’re having fun? Takaaki, I seriously can’t...

 

Reiji: Aah, but look. Even before that...

You’ll expose your secret if these huge beans hit you. Exactly how is this set up so that in nearly one hour—

 

Haruto: Beans. 三 beans Reiji

 

Reiji: I have a crab plush in my room that I nicknamed “Kingy.”

 

Everyone: 🦀

Everyone: Plush.

Everyone: Kingy.

  

Reiji: ~~~~DAMMIT, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG IDEA!!! Okay, listen, it’s not the wrong idea necessarily, but!!! I just left it in my room because I bought it for a local location filming in an aquarium!!! Sheesh, is it wrong to call a king crab “Kingy”!!!

Haruto: I’ll give you a “Hanasaky” Crab as a present next time, Reiji-san.

Reiji: Like hell I need it! 💢💢💢💢💢💢

 

Ayumu: I see... This truly is frightening... And with the way things are going, we’ll have to expose some secret from everyone, right? In that case...!

Reiji: A-Ayumu!?

 

Ayumu: Beans! 三 beans Reiji

 

Reiji: I especially enjoyed a story from a popular female actor from the olden days, which is why I spray a bit of my favorite cologne on my bed. My current favorite’s name is “Buddha-Buddha-Fry”.

 

Reiji: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! It’s just a genuinely good smell!! 💢💢💢

Futaba: I-It’s nice that you’ll be able to see dreams of Amitabha’s Pure Land!!!

Issa: Buddha... Buddha... (cracking up) ※hit his funny bone

Takaaki: (cracking up) ※hit his funny bone

Gaku: (cracking up) Fry... (laughing) ※hit his funny bone

Nao: Man, what a mature adult he is... Putting perfume on his bed... (heart thumping)

Yuuma: Maybe I should try it too.

 

Reiji: Beans! 三 beans Haruto

 

Haruto: When I got to the location for my photoshoot, I reported to the manager, but what actually showed up on the messages was, “I’m under wear now.” And then what came back was, “Are you wearing a top too?”

 

Haruto: I meant to write, “I’m under here now” !!!!

It was not, “I’m underwear” !!!!

It was a case of a common misspelling!!!!

Shou: I love how our manager calmly checks if he’s wearing clothes on top, too.

Ruka: It’s great how you can tell that he’s not surprised from Haru-kun’s occasional odd quirks.

Gaku: (cracking up) ※hit his funny bone

 

Nao: Okay~! Looks like it’s about time!

 

Nao: Beans! 三 beans Issa

 

Issa: I drank all the cooking rum we had in the kitchen.

 

Futaba: Drunkard.

Nao: Drunkard. (laughing)

Issa: ...............I hadn’t seen it around before. It wasn’t too sweet. It was tasty.

Takaaki: I was wondering why the one we’d left in the living room had disappeared~ Turns out it was Issa’s fault! (wry laugh)

Issa: .....................I’ll go replenish our stock next time I get.

Takaaki: Ahaha, it’s fine, it’s fine. Since you took a liking to it, I’ll buy it again.

Yuuma: Keep your drinking in moderation, Issa-san.

Futaba: Exactly, Nii-san!

Issa: Awright, I get it already!!

 

Yuuma: Beans. 三 beans Nao

 

Nao: I was researching how to do mature, sexy male poses in a full-length body mirror, and my leg got cramped when I was stuck in a weird pose. I froze right then and there, and I was groaning throughout the night.

 

Yuuma: ...Ah! ......Was it back then?

Nao: Back then? (laughing) Oh, yeah, you spotted me and saved me. (laughing)

Ouka: So that’s the story behind the mysterious groan on that night...

 

Ruka: Beans! 三 beans Ayumu

 

Ayumu: When I was on a plane, the attendant asked me “Beef or chicken?” And I answered “Rice.”

 

Gaku: Pick a third option.

Ayumu: You’ve got the wrong idea. For some reason, the question “Rice or bread?” was repeating in my head...

Ruka: I sorta get it? But I also sorta don’t?? (laughing)

 

Takaaki: Beans! 三 beans Shou

 

Shou: One day, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in an odd position. When I did that, I realized that a limp hand was flopped onto my face. It obviously hurt, so I opened my eyes in surprise. It turns out it was my own hand, which had fallen asleep.

 

Nao: I thought that was a horror story until you got to the ending!!!

Futaba: Please be careful. Your hand’s important, since you’re a violinist. (wry laugh)

Haruto: Exactly.

 

Issa: Beans. 三 beans Futaba

 

Futaba: I had a manicure done for me from a certain performance. It got so interesting that I started painting my nails myself, so I currently paint my toenails.

 

Futaba: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone: What!?!?!?

Futaba: Isn’t it interesting!? It’s just like painting plastic models, right!?

Ruka: It really is!! I love decking my nails out!!!

Ouka: By the way, I find it exceedingly amusing how the original has it written as “一＜Beans. 三beans二”.

Takaaki: That’s the part you’re focused on, Ouka-chan???

 

Ruka: Beans! 三 beans Gaku

 

Gaku: I’ve had an interest in growing a beard, but when I tried on some app? Site? That  shows me how I’d look with a beard, l looked like nothing more than a prison escapee. I gave up there.

 

Ruka: (cracking up) Nah, I think you’d totally look fine if you did it IRL. (laughing)

Reiji: I wonder how TSUKIPRO would think about it?

Shou: It seems it’s not impossible~? But you should consult with the managers first.

 

Gaku: Beans! 三 beans Ruka

 

Ruka: In my dream, I became 184cm tall, and for some reason I carried Takaaki-kun in a princess hold. And then I tossed him at everyone else, like, “There ya go~!”

 

Takaaki: What kind of dream is that? (laughing)

Ruka: Honestly, I don’t even know myself. (laughing)

 

Ouka: Beans. 三 beans Takaaki

 

Takaaki: I think I’m growing crow’s feet under my eyes?

 

Issa: Don’t say such an oddly realistic secret.

Takaaki: Well, what else is there? (laughing) See, don’t you think they’re faintly here...?

Ouka: Isn’t it fine? Wrinkles from smiling are joyful wrinkles.

Takaaki: Then I suppose I’ll try and make more of them!

 

Futaba: Beans! 三 beans Ouka

 

Ouka: I can peel apples now.

 

Everyone: CONGRATULATIONSSSSSS~~~~~!!!!!!

Ouka: What!!! Are you mocking me!?!?

 

Futaba: Beans! 三 beans Yuuma

 

Yuuma: I want my older brother figures to call me “cool” and not “cute,” so I’ve been doing my best to work out these days.

 

Yuuma: .......Oops. The cat’s out of the bag. (blushing)

Everyone: SO CUUUUUUUTE~~~~~!!!!!!

Nao: I’m not losing out!!!

 

Takaaki: Ahaha. Let’s pray for world peace!

Shou: This has been our Setsubun 🎶

 

💖👹Today is Setsubun =BIG BEANS, LET'S GO!=👹💖

 

Ren: Phew. Our normal bean-scattering is done.

Ken: Ah, let’s eat our Ehomaki. Ehomaki. Which direction was it this year?

Mamoru: East-northeast, apparently!

Sou: ......And which direction is that?

Everyone: ...

 

\ Direction app, Direction app /

 

Ryou: It’s this way, apparently.

Kou: The direction of my room.

Mamoru: So Kou-kun’s the lucky direction for our Ehomaki!

......This is what you’d call an Etomaki.

Everyone: ...

 

Everyone: ...

 

Everyone: ...

 

Kou: That’s true. It is the Etomaki.

Mamoru: I’M SO SORRY!!!

 

\ Anyway, let’s eat our Ehomaki. /

 

Everyone: ... (nom nom nom nom nom nom)

 

Mori: With this, HAPPINESS IS IN OUR HANDS!

Sou: What’s up with you, Mori?

Nozomu: ? Sora, you’ve been especially quiet for a while now...

Sora: Fufufufufufu!!! I’ve been waiting for this moment! For the time I could properly make use of this secret weapon, the “big beans,” as they call i—

 

Sou: Beans. 三 beans Sora: AHH!

 

Sora: I secretly tried sitting at the drum set during band practice and playing the drums, but I lacked in reach! DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT MOMENT FELT FOR MEEEEE~~~!!!!!

 

Everyone: (laughing)

Nozomu: Can’t you just set it so that it suits your own height?

Sora: I thought it’d be bad for me to move it without permission, so I tried playing it the way it was originally set up!! But my arms and legs weren’t long enough at all!!!!!

Sou: I’ll set it up for you to play next time.

Sora: Thanks for the serious response!!!!

 

Ken: While SOARA’s having fun...!

 

Ken: Beans! 三 beans Mamoru: Ack!

 

Mamoru: I wanted to get abs, so I bought a belt to move my ab muscles through giving it electric shocks. The next day, my ab pain was so horrible that I curled up like an armadillo and spent the whole day that way.

 

Everyone: ...

 

Ken: Don’t let it get to you, Mamoru!!!

 

Nozomu: Beans! 三 beans Mori

 

Mori: I really tried getting Wakatsuki-san drunk and wasted because I wanted to see if drunks really wrapped a necktie around their heads, but the next day I woke up collapsed on my bed with a necktie wrapped around my head. ※And I don’t have much memory of the last night.

 

Mori: ...... (embarrassed)

Sora: Mori... (laughing) What the heck you doing, man?

Sou: You were too reckless in choosing the opponent to try it on. Don’t try to challenge a delinquent from the Yokohama streets.

Ken: (cracking up)

 

Mori: Beans. 三 beans Sora: Hey—Wait—

 

Sora: Until pretty recently, I’d been thinking that the “plasma ions” option you find on air dryers and stuff were like, static electricity that sparks all over the place. So I honestly thought that everyone was getting all crackly all the time.

 

Sora: Why me!!! Why do you keep continuously attacking me!??!?

Mori: Sorry. I just felt so embarrassed from my own.

 

Sou: Beans. 三 beans Ren

 

Ren: When I was young, I thought the “dehumidification” on the air conditioner read “exorcism,” so I was too scared to push the button.

 

Ren: Beans. 三 beans Sora: HEYYYYY!

 

Sora: It’s common to call your teachers “Mom” when you’re a student, but a while back at the leaders’ meeting, I accidentally called Hajime-san “Mom.” That is the story of how I received a fatal wound from his gentle smile of pure parental fondness.

 

Sora: STOP IT!!!!!!

Ren: I’m sorry!!!! It’s just, I feel relieved when you act as a cushioning device!!!

 

Sora: Beans! 三 beans Ryou

 

Ryou: I tried buying a drink at the convenience store close to the dorms using electronic payment, but for some reason, it kept getting errors popping up. I didn’t have any cash on me, so I was going to apologize and go home. But actually, Shu-san was apparently behind me, so he naturally paid for my things and treated me to what I needed...

 

Ryou: ......Including the smile he gave me at the end, he was just too stylish during the whole ordeal...

Mamoru: Shu-san’s natural stylishness... I guess that’s what you call paying in style.

Ken: Mamoru, you sure love the “what you call” phrase, huh? (laughing)

 

Ryou: Beans. 三 beans Sora: COMEEEE ONNNN!

 

Sora: When I was walking around the city a while back, I saw a cute white cat and went, “Oooh~~~ Kitty-cat~~~” And ran over to it. Turns out it was a plastic bag from the convenience store. This was my face afterward. ⇒( ˙-˙ )

 

Sora: Can you guys stop using me as a cushioning device!?!?

 

Mori: Beans! 三 beans Sou

 

Sou: I went in a shop because I considered getting clothes. A customer mistook me for an employee and asked me for this and that, and even asked me for advice. I responded to them properly and had them buy a whole fit.

 

Sora: What, you’re just a charismatic guy!!!

 

Sou: Beans. 三 beans Sora: STOP IT ALREADY—

 

Sora: I heard a familiar song in a shop, and I was interested in knowing what it was, but I couldn’t tell what the title was. I asked Shiki-san, “Do you know what this song is?” When I hummed it to him, like, “Hum-hum-hum-hum-hum~” For some reason, he harmonized with me, and I never got to figure out the song name.

 

Ken: That just sounds like a fun time. (laughing)

Sora: But I’m the one getting my secrets exposed and run ragged!?!?!

Kou: I admire how you’re getting secrets pulled out of you constantly, yet you don’t run out of stories to tell.

 

Mamoru: Beans! 三 beans Kou

 

Kou: I’ve gotten hooked on uploading recipes to a site under a pen name, so when I get comments or development updates, I get happy about it.

 

Kou: ...... (blushing)

Everyone: That’s so sweet.

 

Nozomu: Beans! 三 beans Sora: WHY ME!?

 

Sora: I decided that I’d be getting pork cutlet when I got home today. I encountered Dai-chan-san in the office elevator and he said to me, “You seem like you’re excited,” with a pleasant laugh. And I got needlessly nervous, so I responded, “IT’S BECAUSE I’M PORK CUTLET TODAY!!!” My reply was way too abridged... That time, I really... porked up...

 

Ryou: You’re really incredible, Sora.

Sora: IT DOESN’T MAKE ME HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!

 

Sora: Beans! 三 beans Ken

 

Ken: My recent hobby has been dancing the post-bath Ken-chan samba.

 

Everyone: DANCE~ IT~! DANCE~ IT~!!!

Ken: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (laughing)

 

Sora: Beans! 三 beans Nozomu

 

Nozomu: You know that rumor where, if you leave a photo or something under your pillow, you’ll dream about that person? I wanted to test if it was true, so I snuck a photo of myself under Sora’s pillow yesterday night!!

 

Sora: Test it yourself!!!

Nozomu: But if I have the chance, I’d want someone to enter my dream!!!!

Sora: And is it still under my pillow!?!?!

Sou: Let’s all sneak photos of ourselves under the pillow.

Sora: BUT WHY!!!!

Kou: I wonder if I could show up in Sora’s dream too?

Sora: I don’t even need your photo. Making you show up in my dream is but child’s play to me.

Ken: (cracking up)

Ren: That’s actually pretty scary, Senpai.

Ryou: Don’t you have more secrets to spill, Armamamoru?

Mamoru: That’s a new nickname!!!

 

\ WAHHH~ GYAHHH~ /

 

And thus, the night of Setsubun came to a close.